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2009.04.30
Large collection of jokes added, including several pages of lightbulb jokes.
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Yo mama Jokes
Yo mama jokes are typically one-liner insults told in the slang style “yo mama so…”, or “yo mama’s so…”, which in proper English would be “Your mama is so…”
Your mama’s so fat…
Yo mama’s so fat, she has her own zip code!
Yo mama’s so fat, she uses a boomerang to put on her belt!
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale I thought it was her phone number!
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell “Taxi!”
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say “Taxi!”
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at SeaWorld.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, “Who threw that rock?”
Yo mama’s so fat, her driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her.
Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side.
Yo mama’s is so fat, she wore guess jeans and the answer popped out.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got more Chins than a Chinese phone book
Your mama’s so ugly…
Your mama’s so ugly, when she was born, the Doctor slapped her!
Yo mama’s so ugly, American express left home without her.
Yo mama so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama’s so ugly, when I took her to the zoo they said, “Thanks for bringing’ her back!”
Yo mama’s so ugly, your dad takes her to work with him, so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, “What a treasure!” and her father said, “Yes, let’s go bury it.”
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
Yo Mama is so ugly, when she applied for the ugly contest they told her “No Professionals.”
Yo mama so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down.
Your mama’s so poor…
Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, “DING!”
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, “What ya doin’?” She said, “Buying luggage.”
Yo mama so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
Do you know the story about the little old lady who lives in a shoe? Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop!
Yo Mama’s house is so small,if you dropped a washcloth you’d have wall-to-wall carpeting.
Your mama’s so old…
Yo mama’s so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama’s so old, when God said let there be light she flipped on the switch
Yo mama so old, her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama so old, she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo mama’s so old, when Mosses parted the Red Sea, she was in the middle fishing.
Your mama’s so stupid…
Yo mama’s so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for a drug test!
Yo mama so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
Yo mama so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo mama so stupid, she asked you, “What is the number for 911.
