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Dumb Blonde Jokes


Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?

A: A translator.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette jump off a bridge, who would hit the water first?

A: The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop to ask for directions.

Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?

A: Wave

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?

A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?

A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Q: Why does it work?

A: “Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?”

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?

A: “Oh look! Donut seeds!”


A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

A: “Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

I Want to Buy That

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn’t serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn’t serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, “How in the world do you know I am a blonde?”

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,”That’s not a TV—it’s a microwave!”

Blonde paint job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Jail Break

Three women escape from jail. There’s a blond, brunette, and redhead. The cops are hot on their trail, so they run into an old abandoned farm and hide in some burlap sacks. The police officer comes in the barn, and just to make sure no one is in the bags, he kicks each one of them. He kicks the first one, which the brunette is in. The brunette, not to get caught says “Meow!” and the policeman thinks ‘O.K., that’s just a stupid cat.’ and walks to the second sack. This one has the redhead in it. The redhead says “Woof! Woof!” and the policeman thinks ‘Oh, that’s just a stupid dog.’, and walks to the third sack. This one of course, has the blonde in it. The blonde, following her two other examples, screams as loud as possible, “POTATOES!”

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